


Let It Stay A Memory

by isnt_that_wizard



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Angst, Carlos is a Good Boyfriend, Declarations Of Love, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Everyone loves TK, Explicit Language, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, M/M, Past Drug Addiction, Past Drug Use, Past Relationship(s), Protective Family, Protective Firehouse 126 Crew, References to Suicide, TK's ex Alex shows up at the firehouse, and TK getting shot, but also because i wanted it to focus on the rest of the crew and their relationship with tk, lots of emotions are involved, mentions of overdose, owen isn't in this like at all kinda because i forgot, this ended up being way longer than i planned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:00:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23239606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isnt_that_wizard/pseuds/isnt_that_wizard
Summary: It was a slow day in the firehouse. No one- least of all TK Strand- is sure how to react when someone they never expected to see shows up at the 126. Alex, the ex-boyfriend TK left in New York, is here in Texas and wants to talk to him about something important. TK has spent a year away from Alex and is just starting to find solid footing in the firehouse, his new family, and in his ever-growing relationship with Carlos Reyes. He's finally starting to find happiness again. When he sees his ex standing in the firehouse, TK has no idea what kind of outcome is going to come out of all of this.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Judd Ryder & TK Strand, Marjan Marwani & TK Strand, Mateo Chavez & TK Strand, Past Relationships - Relationship, Paul Strickland & TK Strand, TK Strand/Alex
Comments: 17
Kudos: 643





	Let It Stay A Memory

It had been a slow day at the 126 Firehouse. Captain Strand was off somewhere in the city, meeting with other captains, and the crew was chatting as they cleaned and organized the rig. Paul was under the truck doing maintenance, Judd and Mateo shining it up, and Marjan was on top, by the latter. TK had talked his way through all of them to get part of the afternoon off and was out on a date with Carlos. It wasn't actually hard to twist their arms; after learning about his fight with drugs in New York, hearing the stories of his previous relationship, and after the shooting injury, they all thought he deserved the opportunity to have something nice and happy. The crew was working in comfortable silence at the moment, rock music of Judd's choice playing quietly in the background. None of them were watching the entrance to the house when a strange voice came into the air. 

"Excuse me, I'm looking for TK Strand. Is he around?"

Marjan turned from where she'd had her back to the entrance, looking down at a tall, thin black man looking shy but determined. Mateo and Judd slowed their work, glancing up at Marjan. The look in Judd's eye told her he was thinking the same she was; something about this guy was off. 

"Depends who's asking," she said, sitting on top of the rig and letting her legs hang off the side. She raised an eyebrow at him. He just smiled softly, like he was nervous under her gaze. She couldn't help be glad for it. Judd was now leaning against the truck, watching the man with a sharp eye. Mateo was still slowly working, glancing over every few seconds. Paul had casually slipped out from under the truck, now moving around heavy equipment as if he was showing off his muscles. The energy in the house was tense, which was strange. They were all used to strangers walking in, asking after one person or another. This time, though, it was setting them all off. Maybe it was just how protective they all were over TK, their precious little brother. Well, he was more like a big brother to Mateo.

The man nervously raised his arm, rubbing at the back of his neck. He smiled a little, saying, "I'm an old friend of his."

"An old friend?" Judd said, voice deep. He looked around at the others, looking at them with feigned shocked and real suspicion at the words. "Well, TK don't really have any friends down here that the rest of us don't know, and ain't none of them 'old friends', so. . . you from the city?"

At this point, every member of the crew was staring at the guy with intense stares. Whoever he was, it seemed that he wasn't used to firefighters. They were definitely intimidating him. 

"Um, you mean New York? Yeah. My name is-" 

_ "Alex?" _

Everyone's heads snapped towards the entrance. TK stood there, eyes wide and body more tense than any of them had seen in a long time. Carlos stood about a foot behind him, looking hesitant, like he wasn't sure whether to reach out to TK, back off, didn't know whether to watch TK or the man- Alex. Anyone could see how the cop was clenching his jaw. The silence in the house was growing more and more awkward by the second. The crew looked at each other, all making the realization at the same time. This was _ the _ Alex. Alex who had dated TK for over a year. Alex who had broken his heart and cheated on him with a trainer. Alex whose memory had haunted TK for so long after moving to Austin. The crew was now on high alert, even Mateo, the kindest of them all, making himself taller and stronger looking. 

Marjan, from her perch on top of the truck, pursed her lips and stared directly at Alex. 

"So you're telling me that _ this _ is the guy from New York?" She spit out, knowing her voice sounded venomous. TK finally broke the trance, looking up at her. She immediately relaxed herself, smiling gently at him. TK's eyes were scared and wide, but as they met Marjan's, he seemed to relax just a little bit. Soon, though, he was looking right back at Alex, chest rising and falling a little faster.

"What- what are you doing here, Alex?" TK managed to squeak out, causing Carlos to take a step closer to him, a clearly reassuring presence for TK. He was out of uniform, but with his strong form and the way he held his hand on his hip like his gun was still resting there, there was absolutely no denying the man was a cop. It was no secret to anyone on the crew that Carlos brought out the best of TK, something it was clear Alex had never done. 

"TK. . . it's so good to see you." Alex whispered out, smiling at TK. 

"Why are you in Texas right now?" TK insisted, taking a half step back as Alex took a step forward. 

"I need to talk to you about something. Is there. . . is there somewhere we could go?" Alex asks, eyes trained on TK. 

Paul and Judd begin closing in, muscles flexed and gazes tense. 

"Pretty sure anything you have to say to TK can be said in front of the rest of us," Paul stated, causing Alex to spin and realize how intently the crew was watching him. TK sighed a little, smiling at Paul before shaking his head. 

"Paul, it's. . . it's okay. I think, at least. Can you guys give us a minute?" TK was glancing at the ground, biting his lip nervously. Carlos shifted, not saying anything but clearly against the thought. The crew looked at each other, nodding lightly. 

". . . Sure, TK," Mateo said, the first to break the silence. Marjan sighed, jumping off the truck and into Judd's waiting arms, who'd been waiting in case she slipped on her way down. Once he'd made sure she was stable on the ground, he and the other guys began wondering off to the kitchen slowly. Carlos hadn't moved yet, looking unsure whether to stay or leave. Marjan looked at him, trying to give a reassuring smile.

"Hey, Carlos, Paul's been cooking his chili all day if you want to join is in finishing up dinner. We want to make sure to get it done  _ before _ the Captain gets back," she said, staring at Alex as she emphasized the return of not only their boss, but of TK's father. The point seemed to get across, Alex tensing a little. Carlos nodded, walking past TK and up to Marjan, who wrapped an arm around him as they started following the rest of the crew. 

"Just call us if you need anything, little brother. We'll be right around the corner," Judd said, having stopped to look back at TK. It made the younger man smile, watching his family walk into the kitchen. 

"Thanks, Judd, I got it."

TK stayed silent as they walked away, crossing his arms and looking towards the ground. God, what was even happening right now. It had been a year- a _year_ \- since he'd seen Alex. He had finally started remembering how to be happy. He had a family, a career he was choosing himself and loving, and a boyfriend that genuinely made him feel good about himself. For the first time since getting to Austin, he didn't feel like he was at risk for a relapse. Who knew how what Alex had to say might affect that. 

"TK, it's really nice to see you right now. I know it's been a while-"

"Alex, just stop. I'm serious, okay? What the hell are you doing here?" TK barely managed to look at his ex, feeling anxiety, frustration, and even some anger. 

"Well, I wanted to talk to you about something important. And, you know, I've been worried about you." 

TK frowned, confused, " _ Worried about me? _ " 

Alex looked shy, fidgeting with his hands in a way TK recognized from their time dating. "Yeah, um. I heard about everything that's happened. The overdose, when you got shot. . . I've been keeping up with Austin news in case anything happened to you. I was gonna call you, but, you know."

TK felt rising anger. "What the hell do you mean you were worried about me, Alex? You don't get to worry about me! We broke up! A goddamn  _ year _ ago. Or did you forget the part when I tried to propose to you and you told me you had been  _ cheating _ on me?"

TK's words were like fire, causing Alex to look at the ground, like he was ashamed. He took a step closer to TK, one he had to fight himself to not backing up from. 

"TK, I know I made mistakes. Big ones. And you're right to be mad at me." 

TK pursed his lips, shifting from foot to foot. Ignoring Alex's possible, kind of, what maybe was an apology, TK said, "So where's your trainer? Mitchell, right?"

Alex let out a deep sigh, "We broke up." 

TK raised his eyebrows, nodding a couple times. "Sorry to hear that," he mumbled out, though he wasn't sure any part of him meant it. 

"Don't be," Alex shrugged, stepping towards TK again, " _ I _ broke up with  _ him _ ." 

"Why's that?" TK mumbled.

"Because I realized what my biggest mistake was. I want to fix it, TK. I- I want this,  _ us, _ back." 

Alex reached out towards TK, as if he was going to take his hand, but he stopped once TK took a step back, shaking his head involuntarily. 

"Don't," TK whispered.

"What?"

"Don't do this. Don't tell me you came all the way to Austin, Texas because you regret breaking up with me. Don't tell me you're sorry, or still have feelings for me, and don't fucking say you want me back." TK was holding himself tightly, feeling involuntary tears begin forming in his eyes. All that progress he'd made this past year and look where he was. 

"But TK, I really do-"

"No! Fucking hell, Alex!" 

At his outburst, Alex froze. TK also took note of how the sounds from the kitchen seemed to completely stop. 

"You have no clue what our relationship did to me. You  _ broke _ me. What happened that night- I couldn't even live with myself. I made the biggest mistake of my life when I went and bought those pills. I overdosed, and all I could think of was how worthless I must have been. My dad had to find me laying on the floor, heart stopped. When we moved here, I was so terrified of getting close to people, of finding something to love again. My dad barely let me out of his sight the first few months. I was completely destroyed, Alex! And throughout all of it, I couldn't get you out of my head." 

Alex honestly looked sad at TK's words. "I am so sorry, TK. I never meant for that to happen, to hurt you. I promise, I always cared about you. I still do." 

TK shook his head, "No, I know that. I think I do, at least. But in the past year I've realized a lot of shit. Alex, our relationship was one of the worst things to happen to me. It was right after I got sober, got hot and heavy quick, and it ended like a nuclear bomb. It wasn't healthy, for either of us. But moving here? It was the  _ best _ thing. I found a family that genuinely cares about me, I've got a job where I feel like I belong, and the best boyfriend I could ever ask for." 

Alex visibly flinched at the word boyfriend, which just fumed TK's rage. What- Alex could cheat on him but TK wasn't allowed to move on? God, why had he ever dated this asshole?

"So that guy you came in with-?" Alex asked quietly, having the nerve to even look angry. 

"Yeah, Alex. I came in with my boyfriend. And in six months, Carlos has shown me more about being loved and cared for than you could do in a year and a half. After every  _ single _ call, even if it's just some stupid cat stuck in a tree, he texts to make sure I'm okay. Half the time you didn't even remember I was on a shift. You said you wanted to call after I got shot, but you still fucking didn't. I wasn't even actually dating Carlos at the time and he still came to the hospital to be with me. Every minute, I want to be with him. To see him smile, or laugh, to hug him like he's something rare and precious. Because he really, really is. He lets  _ me _ set the pace when I'm going through something difficult, and he's someone besides my dad that makes me feel, for once in my life, like I'm actually fucking worth something. Looking back, that's something you never did. Our relationship wasn't healthy, Alex. And it's  _ over _ . . . it's over. So please, just get out of my firehouse- my home- and go." 

TK's cheeks were wet with tears, his vision blurry. He wasn't sure if it came from sadness, frustration, or both. All he knew was that he'd been holding all of that in for a long time. He had dropped his arms to his side, holding himself stronger than he had since he and Carlos had returned to the house. Alex looked speechless, and if TK's vision were less blurry, he'd see tears in his ex's eyes as well. TK couldn't find it in him to care right now how Alex felt about it all, though. The silence was thick between them. TK's words had slowed and quieted towards the end of his speech, and he knew that they had sounded as broken as he felt. He'd done so much to build himself back up again, but he guesses some parts were still a raging house fire. He had no idea how long they stood there, staring past each other, until Alex finally moved. 

"I'm sorry, TK," Alex whispered before moving past his ex-boyfriend and out onto the streets of Austin. Out of TK's life. 

Once he was gone, TK closed his eyes tightly, taking deep breaths in attempts to calm himself. He brought his hands up to cover his face, letting tension leak out of him until he no longer felt frozen to the spot. He rubbed at his eyes, desperate to dry them before he inevitably faced his crew again. 

"Shit," he mumbled, making his way towards the kitchen. There wasn't much noise coming from the room as he approached, though he swore he could hear Mateo quietly asking,  _ "What kind of dick shows up after a year to try and get his ex back?" _ and Judd telling him to shut it. TK took one last deep breath before rounding the corner, entering the kitchen and dining room. When he did, everyone suddenly attempted to look busy, like they hadn't been staring at the door and waiting for him to enter. 

Paul pointlessly stirred a simmering chili, Marjan was violently hacking at already cut vegetables for a salad, Mateo just awkwardly sat trying not to meet TK's eyes, and Judd looked as though he was working on setting the table- which TK could tell had already been done five minutes prior. The only one who was looking at him was Carlos. He met his boyfriend's eyes, which were filled with worry, care, and what could only be described as love. Like he was gravity, TK immediately felt pulled to navigate his way to him, falling into Carlos' open arms. Carlos held him tightly around the waist, pressing kisses into his hair as TK tucked his face into his boyfriend's neck. He clutched at Carlos' dark blue henley, letting himself relax into the comfort of the hug. When they broke apart, TK turned to the rest of the crew, still feeling an arm around his waist as Carlos stood next to him. 

"All right, I knew you all heard that. You can stop pretending you didn't." 

Almost immediately, the crew turned to him, looking him over with varying degrees of pity, worry, and relief. Marjan moved to him so quickly that TK was slightly shocked when she wrapped him in a hug so tight it was hard to breath. He held her back, albeit much looser. 

"TK, I don't know what to. . ." she began, stopping as she pulled back. Marjan put a hand on his shoulder, looking straight into his eyes. "Every single person in this firehouse is so grateful that you're okay, TK. That you're healthy and safe." 

TK smiled softly, looking to the ground. He really didn't need to cry more today. Paul moved towards them. He opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, but closed it again before sucking in a breath. Finally, he got words out of his mouth.

"We knew about the overdose, but you- you never told us- God, TK. . ." Paul's eyes were stricken with heavy sadness, matched by the steady gazes of Mateo, Judd, and Marjan. 

"Guys, I promise, I wasn't trying to kill myself. Not really. I just- I couldn't handle it all. The drugs seemed like the best way out. I regret what I did more than any of you can imagine. But I'm here, okay? And I'm not going anywhere." 

The room felt heavy, quiet falling over them. It stayed that way until a loud sniffle filled the void. When they all turned to see who it was, the crew found Judd with tear tracks across his cheeks and a wet spot on his shirt marking the end of their trail. 

"You're our family, kid. We're gonna love you till the end of days, you know that? Every one of us." 

TK smiled at Judd's teary eyed words and everyone's nods of affirmation, giving a single nod of his own. "Yeah, I know. I love you guys, too." 

With that, it seemed the conversation was finished. Everyone began moving back to what they were doing, actually beginning to pour drinks and dish food this time. 

"You joining us, TK?" 

TK nodded to Judd's question, saying, "I'm just gonna go clean up a little bit, but I'll be down in a sec."

TK moved to the stairs and up to the bathroom. He leaned against the counter, slipping on the water and letting it run heavily. With a deep breath, he cupped his hands under the spray before bringing them up to his face, letting the cool liquid splash against his skin. He repeated the gesture twice more before feeling a hand lightly rest on his shoulder. It was a comforting, familiar touch. 

"Hey, babe," TK whispered to his boyfriend, meeting Carlos' eyes in the mirror. 

"Tyler," Carlos let out in a response greeting. TK had accepted, and maybe even liked, his boyfriend's use of his first name, though to anyone else he'd never admit it. TK shut off the tap, turning to face Carlos. A hand came up to the TK's cheek, a gesture of comfort TK couldn't help but lean into. 

"Are you okay? Really?" Carlos asked in a voice that would've been barely audible to anyone but them.

TK bit his lip before shrugging his shoulders lightly. "I don't know. Yes? I think so? I mean, I guess it was just so much that. . . I don't know." 

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I know I probably should. But, not right now, if that's okay? I think I need some time to process it a little more."

Carlos just nodded with a smile, moving his hand from TK's cheek to play with the hair on the back of his neck. 

TK spoke up again, saying, "I know that you heard everything, too, and I just to say that I meant it. All of it. Everything I said about you was the truth." 

Carlos' smile had always been blinding to TK, and it had become one of his favorite sights in the world. 

"Dulzura de mi vida," Carlos whispered as he smiled at TK, making the other blush and look down. Carlos knew his boyfriend could never contain his redding cheeks when he used Spanish. It drove TK nuts in the best way possible. 

The firefighter couldn't help himself when he looked up, pushing forward until he'd captured Carlos' lips in his own. The kiss was slow and sweet, both of them pulling each other in close. TK's arms wasted no time in wrapping around Carlos' neck, his boyfriend using one hand to hold the side of TK's face and the other spanning across his lower back. TK never thought he'd fall in love again after Alex, and yet here he was, in the arms of the person who taught him that this is what love was actually supposed to look like. And he loved Carlos, no way around it. It had been a rough start with the cop, but if this is the way TK got to spend the end of every day, he'd go through it again and again. 

He pulled away from Carlos with a wide, happy smile. His boyfriend's smile matched his own, and Carlos leaned in for one more quick pack before talking a half step back to give them both room to properly breathe. 

"Thank you for everything, Carlos. I really. . . I love you." 

"I love you, too." 

The two had said the words before, one late night after a scare on TK's shift when they were both exhausted from the day's events and just needed to fall into each other. But this, this was different. This was somehow even more important than the first time. 

Carlos trailed a hand down TK's arms, grabbing his boyfriend's and winding their fingers together. He slowly began walking backwards, pulling TK with him. Together, they wandered down the stairs and into the now buzzing kitchen filled with laughter, outrageous and exaggerated stories, and more love than TK knew what to do with. His dad was sitting at the head of the table, a big smile on his face seeming to grow impossibly wider as he spotted TK. He stopped by his father's chair on his way to sit down, hugging him without explanation- he'd tell him everything once they got home, TK promised himself. The room was nothing short of pure family, one TK gladly let himself be pulled into, washing over the day's negative turn. Every one of them had been through more shit than anyone reasonably should, but it seemed like if they had each other, everything was going to be just fine.

**Author's Note:**

> SPANISH TRANSLATION:  
> dulzura de mi vida - sweetness/love of my life


End file.
